In Search of an Honorable Death

you cannot slide a dull steak knife or razorblade
across the soft white hollow of your wrists
or let oil and gunmetal be the last heavy tastes upon your tongue

you cannot leap from cliffs to trees and rock below
or dive from the passenger seat of a car
hurtling down the sunbaked interstate
to roll your skin over the concrete and heat

rope or water?
poison or fire?
a simple thing will never do

you can let your teeth rot and fall lurching with heart disease
you can smoke cigarettes or have a few glasses of wine with dinner
every day and wait for your organs to fail
you can care about what happens to animals or gods or humanity
and watch the lines of worry sprawl from your ankle to your neck

or you can not give too much of a damn
love a few people truly
smile at your woman in the morning
never accomplish much
write one good poem
(not this one or one like it)
and no one will wear black at your funeral