Monday, April 1, 2013

Red is My Favorite Color


Spirals. Anger. Tight arabesques. Red wasps
On bright March mornings are identical
‘Til suddenly they are near to your eyes
And they bristle full-plated in armor
And threaten with a spear that’s pierced before.

Suffering is not distinguished by words
That are unique; the loss of dearest friends
When explained aloud often masquerades
In the language of ruined love, or else
The tears of a child when their pet departs

But I believe we were speaking of wasps-
Unsavory even when they are at their best.
Why is it so easy to evoke them?
Why should they signify raw shock and pain
When they die every year and I am immortal?

Katarina


God damn it, the moment this sexy girl drinking margaritas
at a table by herself at the Mexican joint (black skirt long legs
silver earrings) turns to me after an hour of furtive glances
and says “can I ask you a question?” and I reply “is it a hard question?”
and she laughs and asks for my name in order to confirm that I am the man
who sometimes brings a book and bitterness to the bar that employs her,
she pays Consuela and walks through a glass door:
now I remember the doctor bringing me screaming into the world.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

It is Finished


I.

Though every life necessarily contains oddness and improbability,
the aberrant occurrences of my life cannot be countenanced:
this afternoon I realize that I have been dreaming.
It is natural that I should have taken the fantasy
for the waking world; women were sometimes very pretty,
drugs functioned properly, the newspapers were unsurprising.

That my love should abandon her vows, in itself,
would signify little or nothing: this is as predictable
as bloody headlines and changing leaves.
Her continual presence at my doorway after our estrangement
beggared my faculties, though now there is an explanation.

II.

This afternoon is Easter, so I was unable to spend my pocketful of dimes on beer.

I had forgotten the holiday until I saw the blank windows of the closest restaurant.
I sighed and turned back. On the sidewalk a woman of immense girth approached.
I stood aside and looked at my shoes, then smelled apple blossoms
and was thrown headlong into memory-
My older sister, brother, and I trade bites from a red apple in our front yard;
the air is hot and the juice runs down our wrists.

What the fuck is this?
A scent memory? I know from encyclopedia articles
that scent memories are quite common and strong,
but in twenty years and more I have never had one.
Deceptions always crack at the borders.
Clever dream, to hold me so long!

How long, then, have I slumbered?
When I die in this place, when shall I awake?
The first day of the month of war, anno Domini 2013,
sleeping in the arms of my love?
The first night that I saw my fallen star?
The moment before I climbed a terrace thick with vines
to enter a second story window and the first woman
that fate had chosen for me?

Lord, some of the women in this dream!
Though I never had more than a few of them, I will be sorry
to lose their clavicles, their delicately curling hair,
their curves and curves.

Listen and I shall paint my portrait.
I am tall, cruel, jealous, quick to anger,
and convinced of my supremacy.
If I were not dreaming,
why should I resemble the gods so closely?

 How shall I escape? Am I brave enough to have steel kiss my veins,
or will it have to be the warm embrace of a train?

I may have imagined many things.
It may be that when I wake much will be lost.
Perhaps in the true world Publius Ovidius Naso
was a lawyer and Andres Segovia lost a hand at six years old.
Perhaps my love, with all the horrors of her life, was never born.

It may be that I am wrong. It has happened on rare occasions.
Perhaps when I take my life, the void will take me;
perhaps there is some factor I have not yet seen that makes all this real.
However, I will not be dissuaded by such doubts.
So I may perish forevermore? What of it?
If this is the scope of existence, I do not wish to take part any longer.
After I have become light I will be with her again.

Alecto


I.

How many years was it before the taste of the pomegranate?
I suppose I am devoid of desire: it is well known that I despise eating fruit.
In any case I have seen a hundred seasons change furiously.
I have brushed, chastely or not, against the lives and lips of women,
And I on darkened days have seen the goddess on her throne and been afraid.

II.

Who would risk the journey to the realm of the dead,
and who among those few should dare to steal the queen?

One such man was highborn, though of uncertain parentage.
Perhaps Zeus was his sire; other common songs
declare his father to be the ever-burning Ixion.
His companions are more honored than he-
one lopped off the head of the Minotaur and freed Athens;
the other, greatest of heroes, was in truth courageous Heracles,
slayer of lions and giants, he whose great deeds are innumerable.

Once before the Great War of Troy, Helen was kidnapped.
Theseus had stolen the beauty of the world, and warlike Pirithous
was envious. He too desired a prize beyond all others.
He set his eyes upon disaster, and so they traveled to Lerna.

The three descended rocky paths through secret caves
and came upon the shores of painful Acheron.
They stepped on the ferry without regard for paying the fare.
Their weight pushed the craft dangerously close to the surface.
The boatman suffered their presence. He did not speak a word.

III.

Across the soulless river the heroes encountered many wonders.
The grandeur of their surroundings cannot be described,
even if the god of prophecy himself spoke praise onto leaves.

They came to a dining hall, carved from granite with incredible skill.
Bright torches lined the walls at regular intervals.
A large table lined with chairs on both sides stretched nearly the length of the room-
at the head of the table were two thrones wrought of bone and iron.
One throne was vacant, the other was occupied by a forbidding woman.
The three met her eyes and in an instant knew her name:
this was the daughter of earth, the raped one, the Empress of Hell.

She spoke to them in a girlish voice,
“Oh, how interesting! Visitors!
That you are yet alive proves your worth.
Come. Sit. Let us speak.”

They obeyed her request. They sat in chairs.
Ropes of stone burst from the floor and encircled their limbs.
A terrible specter appeared from inside the wall.
She moved forward but her feet did not touch the ground.
Her eyes were dull red, serpents were her hair.
“Speak the truth,” the Fury hissed, “or I shall torment your divine parents
until madness makes them envy mortal men,
to say nothing of the punishments you have earned.
 Lie or offend and my anger shall never cease.
Why have you come?”

He that once saw his adoptive father die at the sight of black sails exclaimed,
“I have come to support my brother in arms!”
He that once won glory in battle with centaurs quietly said,
“I have come to take for my own wife the dark lord’s bride.”
The mighty Heracles screamed out,
“You may make no demands upon me! A curse upon you, Alecto!
I defeated the many-headed Hydra, the greatest foe that ever drew breath!
Defend yourself or die!”

With a grunt of effort, Heracles cast away the granite shackles.
He freed Theseus with only a slight strain,
then turned his attention to the other captive.
He lifted. He roared. Each well-trained muscle rippled,
but Pirithous could not be freed.

Alecto laughed harshly then exhaled without a sound.
The demigods were thrown against a wall.
Breathless and white-faced, the two slowly stood.
Serpents seethed around her cheekbones
and she raised her arms as if to seize at throats.
“Leave now, both of you. Or we shall follow.
My sisters delight in pain more than I.
Your comrade belongs to me. Forever.”

IV.

When will she come with a gift? She often comes when I am awake.
What will she bring? A small peeled piece of an apple,
the delectable scent of the sweat at the nape of her neck?

After many years it occurs to me that I have never glimpsed
the dark cloak of Hades, nor his famed impassive face.
Suddenly she walks into the hall and sits far from the lonely thrones.
I say to her, “Where is your husband?”

She giggles like a young girl picking flowers and replies,
“He cannot be seen. He cannot be seen.
Only a man would require that death had a King.
Tell me, why are the Fates and Furies women,
if mortal men imagine they have power?”

She tosses her hair and the torches are extinguished.
She laughs. Her voice blackens like the air.
“Fool! For many years I have not seen the sun,
though it is my right to surface when spring bursts upon the land.
Has my mother not noticed that I remain ensconced in darkness?
Does she believe that her brother and I have become happy?

“The vain gods of thunderbolts and earthquakes
have often forgotten their unseen kinsman,
but soon enough they will burn pyres and proclaim footraces.
They will swear to exact revenge when they know what I have done.
Let them come! Charon knows to give them safe passage;
I fear them as lions fear elderly horses.
Already in this very hall a god was slain by my hand!
I am anxious to greet my father and uncle,
to scar and scorch and bury them in dust,
but until they arrive you will have to do.”

She kisses me. My mouth thickens with blood. The snakes hiss.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Not Just for Sugarcane Anymore 1.1


The top third of the edge is marred with rust.
The smallest notch interrupts a sheen of light.
It sends back tales of metal slabs turning life to dust.
Preening imperialists wielding them had, once,
courageously followed the gashes left on jungle-strewn continents,
through hacked up vines and bodies, filling in the inevitable gaps
in their souls with whiskey and the softness of the living natives.
Blades are interesting because they all appear to be what they are.
This is not a condemnation towards those who love a dissembling life,
but armaments have maintained a strong presence in history
when faced with pacifist and warrior alike.
What a marvelous thing such power is! I will say nothing
of certain discreditable “women’s” thinkers, who have many times noted
the passing resemblance of knife and spear and slashing sword
to one of the portions of male anatomy that seems
to be most offensive to prudish minds.
It is perhaps not intended to be taken as an actual argument.
After all, if it was believed that weapons fashioned in the manner
of tulip bulbs would efficiently kill others en masse,
it produces no doubt that these new terrors would be condemned
by the professoriate on the grounds that they resembled
the inner ear (or nerve clusters) of a violent man.

An Apparition


Andrea, not long ago I saw your face on a cold Tuesday.
I had just been fired. I was drinking in a bar and I saw you.
You were at a table with several people I did not recognize.
I hurriedly walked over and everything morphed monstrously.
The girl seated at the table had no music in her laughter,
her hair was glossy in an artificial way, her eyes were dull.
She was clearly American but wore a bright green tee-shirt
emblazoned with certain unrelated Greek characters.
I walked up to her and said, “Khaíre, Alecto.” She looked at me stupidly.
I said, “My mistake. There were Greek letters on your shirt, so I assumed...”
I turned on my heel and bit beneath a fingernail until it bled.
It is uncomfortable to weep in public. Pain is cheaper than humiliation.
I walked back to my barstool, sat, and raised my finger to the saltwater blonde
who worked behind the bar. She was wearing tiny white shorts and smiled.
She always enjoys my company because I tip well. She came over.
I ordered three cheap vodkas and drank them as she set them down.
Oh Andrea, if we had been in love I could have replaced you.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Carmen 44


What is it to be alive?

Hunger rises and falls, the tide of life that will outlive the moon.

Women are beautiful, or they are not. In any case I do not see them now.