Carmen 52

Her eyes were green but not like mine,
not hopeless or hateful or steeped in disillusion,
just bloodshot ‘cause she did not sleep enough
and green for a much older reason.

I thought she could see the tears in my eyes
but she couldn’t or maybe she thought they were just part of being alive.
I thought I had tears in my eyes
but she was beautiful so she made my past pain dry.

I was so much taller and I looked down at her
like I was allowed to just ‘cause I was taller.
I try to forget about it but a wolf ain’t gonna stop tryin to swallow the moon.

I’m lucky I didn’t kiss her but I wanted to and she could see it.
I’m always joking with her and quoting Scorsese but she doesn’t know the lines
so she thinks I’m a genius and I let her think it.

Her eyes looked up at mine
and instead of kissing her eyes
I went home and cried and poured straight vodka on mine.

Her eyes looked up at mine
so tomorrow I’m gonna stare at the floor the whole time.