For Andrea, on Feb 22

I flicked the deadbolt
down and to the left
with my elbow.

My hands were full.

All three were cold and the dates on them read
DEC 23
JAN 17
FEB 4
and they were nearly full.

Their caps were light blue
because the fat had been removed.

And with three dull thuds
they landed in a metal grave.

I opened and closed the door
again.

There is a can of tomatoes
premium
Red Gold
crushed
100% natural
half-filled with ash
sitting on my desk.

After loss, people like to grasp on
to everything
more tightly.

Old men with mirth in their eyes
falcon
ancient
azure
and hair as white as snow.

A young woman, impossibly young
confident
beautiful
pushy
but still kind enough to get me through a bit of hell
and wise enough to know when to say nothing at all.

They tell us that plastic stays around virtually forever,
That emperors and pontiffs will be reduced to naught
while the world of things we’ve thrown away
outlives our children by ten thousand years.

She was going to be an accountant
and there were months where
we drank more vodka than Russians
screamed curses out of windows
and kicked at oak leaves
while she stood on the stairs smoking
her cigarettes.

In my refrigerator another half-gallon
of milk
sits;
FEB 20
knowing myself
as I do
I think that I shall keep it for a little while.